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A Poem Made Up of Actual Gadgets at CES 2017

By Jason Gilbert January 10th, 2017

There’s a smart tea cube
To help you brew chamomile,
And virtual reality shoes
In case your Crocs are too real.

There’s a camera for your fridge
So you can live-stream your juice,
And there are web-connected jeans
To log in your caboose.

There’s a Bluetooth toaster
And a smart sous vide machine,
Because a truly balanced meal
Includes 4G LTE.

There’s an electric surfboard
So you can digitally shred,
And a wearable for horses
So you can track Mr. Ed.

There’s a smart bathroom mirror
That can point out your wrinkles,
And there are many smart toilets
For your many smart tinkles.

There’s LG’s robot butler,
And Bosch’s kitchen elf,
And a farting alarm clock
If you really hate yourself.

There’s a kids exercise bike
With a tablet inside;
Finally, an alternative
To playing outside!

There’s an automated,
Wi-Fi-connected cat bowl,
There’s a drone that hunts fish
(It will find you, Nemo.)

There’s a Roomba that shouts,
And vacuum shoes, and more,
To Hoover up all the crap
On your Panasonic smart floor.

There are wearables for kids,
And wearables for pets,
Even a wearable for babies
Who aren’t born yet.

There’s a smart hairbrush
And a smart toothbrush, too;
We just need smart toilet brushes
To smartly brush off our poo.

That’s an idea
That we haven’t yet seen.
But I’m sure that we will
At CES 2018.

Image by Catspad
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