A Poem Made Up of Actual Gadgets at CES 2017

There’s a smart tea cube
To help you brew chamomile,
And virtual reality shoes
In case your Crocs are too real.

There’s a camera for your fridge
So you can live-stream your juice,
And there are web-connected jeans
To log in your caboose.

There’s a Bluetooth toaster
And a smart sous vide machine,
Because a truly balanced meal
Includes 4G LTE.

There’s an electric surfboard
So you can digitally shred,
And a wearable for horses
So you can track Mr. Ed.

There’s a smart bathroom mirror
That can point out your wrinkles,
And there are many smart toilets
For your many smart tinkles.

There’s LG’s robot butler,
And Bosch’s kitchen elf,
And a farting alarm clock
If you really hate yourself.

There’s a kids exercise bike
With a tablet inside;
Finally, an alternative
To playing outside!

There’s an automated,
Wi-Fi-connected cat bowl,
There’s a drone that hunts fish
(It will find you, Nemo.)

There’s a Roomba that shouts,
And vacuum shoes, and more,
To Hoover up all the crap
On your Panasonic smart floor.

There are wearables for kids,
And wearables for pets,
Even a wearable for babies
Who aren’t born yet.

There’s a smart hairbrush
And a smart toothbrush, too;
We just need smart toilet brushes
To smartly brush off our poo.

That’s an idea
That we haven’t yet seen.
But I’m sure that we will
At CES 2018.