John Oliver Will Give Brands Free Native Advertising if They Make Sepp Blatter Go Away

If a string of high-profile arrests and outrage over the deaths of thousands of migrant workers in Qatar can’t bring down FIFA President Sepp Blatter, maybe native advertising can.

In the latest excellent episode of Last Week Tonight, John Oliver came to an obvious conclusion—that the brands pumping money into FIFA are the only organizations capable of taking down the corrupt regime ruining global football. And so he made an offer—a native advertising offer. If top brands make Sepp Blatter go away, he will work plugs for their products into his show. (Oliver promised to even drink a Bud Light Lime on air, even though he thinks it tastes like the puddle under a dumpster at Long John Silver’s.)

Gawker, for its part, has John Oliver’s back, saying that it, too, will give away free native advertising if brands make Sepp Blatter go away: “We fully support this deal, and for our part we will shoehorn paeans to the virtues of tasty Filet-O-Fish sandwiches, delicious Bud Light Cheladas, and convenient Visa financial-services products into everything we publish as soon as these companies give us reason to do so.”

The Contently Edit team feels the same way, and we’ll take things one step further: We’ll not only write about “10 Things Bud Light Lime Has Taught Us About Digital Marketing” and “7 Things the Snoop Dogg Gameday Shoes Can Teach Us About Putting Customers First”—we’ll also hack into the business side of the company and give Contently’s dope content marketing platform to you for free. You can keep it until the next World Cup, or until our VP of finance realizes what we did and fires us. Whichever comes first.

Other media/marketing companies: Who’s with us?